How to make cookies like Jamie.

Step 1.
Decide to make cookies. They're going to be chocolate chip.
Running time 0:00:01

Step 2.
Chat on Facebook, download some music, listen to said music.
Running time 2:00:00

Step 3.
Walk to Safeway to purchase ingredients.
Running time 2:20:00

Step 4.
First go find the chocolate chips. You will need them to find out what other ingredients you will need. Buy those ingredients, and also coffee and creamer because you're out of both.
Running time 2:35:00

Step 5.
Pay for your items.
Running time 2:45:00

Step 6.
Walk back home.
Running time 2:55:00

Step 7.
Mix ingredients and put your first batch in. Adding 30% more chocolate chips than called for is recommended.
Running time 3:10:00

Step 8.
Eat vegetables, rice, naan, and salad while you wait. Also, now is when you begin to brew the coffee.
Running time 3:20:00

Step 9.
New batch of cookies in the oven. Now try the firstfruits of your baking-labor, pour yourself some coffee, and go smoke a cigarette.
Running time 3:30:00

Step 10.
Another new batch in the oven. This is the last batch. Blog about your cookie-making experience while you drink more coffee.
Running time 3:40:00

Step 11.
Relax. You've got cookies and coffee for a couple days. What more could you need, except maybe some Modest Mouse to listen to.

Things I need to get. Part ?

These are things I need to get. Enjoy a little insight into my "need to get" life.

1. Some new pants OR fix the pants I own but can't wear because they're too torn up/not finished making them fit via sewing AND get a minimum of 1 pair of new pants.
2. A cord for the digital camera I "own" so that I can put pictures on my compy.
3. Ingredients for the chocolate chip cookies I will fix later today. (This is the most imminent item I will get.)
4. Webhosting service for the "real" moose-bait website.
5. Sheets/scraps of fabric (black, blue, grey, yellow, red) for my ceiling/maybe part of my walls/maybe to replace the Mexican blanket covering Window #1.
6. Hair dye.
7. Shelves of mostly any kind.
8. "Indirect" lighting. Possible a tall lamp, but other things I would use would be a small lamp, Christmas lights, fireplace (Unlikely at this point) or lava lamp.
9. Things to fasten things to my walls.
10. End of the list for now.

Right now

Right now, I am...

/Excited for the future (2010).
//Excited by the word "rooibos".
///Wondering what the next "big thing" is going to be and how it will be used by several for its full potential and just-sorta-ruined by the other millions/billions of people who use it/watch it/eat it/propagate it.
////Excited for the chocolate chip cookies I am inevitably going to bake today.
/////Excited to rearrange my little living/bed room.
//////Kinda hungry.
///////Little bit of anxious.
////////But still mostly excited.

Hope this lasts.

A Screenshot In The Life #1

Edie Sedgwick In Wallpaper Form

My Christmas gift to you, my reader, is this wallpaper of Edie Sedgwick that I made using a picture of Edie Sedgwick and multiple pictures of wallpaper.

Merry little Christmas.

Portland's Sad Google Statistics.

Top Google searches for '09:

1. trimet trip planner
2. oregon unemployment claim
3. 95.5 the game
4. multnomah county jail
5. onpoint credit union
6. mypcc
7. pcc.edu
8. pdx.edu
9. workinginoregon.org
10. blazers edge

Think those are some interesting statistics? I think it's accurate for the most part, a good snapshot of what "mainstream Portland" is all about. Hipsters aren't present in these statistics because obviously they use alt websearches like Bing.com.

Looking at Google's 09 city statistics I'm surprised at how many cities have jails, colleges, and sports teams in their top searches.

Also found

Google Maps - Fastest Rising
1. mount everest
2. laguna seca
3. in-n-out
4. grand canyon
5. eiffel tower
6. white house
7. great wolf lodge
8. wild animal safari
9. voodoo doughnuts
10. path station

Makes me want a donut and wonder what next year holds for us.

Fewer thoughts than normal lately

Been consumed by music, I don't know if that's a good thing. My laptop hard drive is almost full, I need to do some cleaning and put the stuff I don't listen to very much into my external hard drive. Going to save that for another day though.

Recently read about Zachary German's forthcoming novel Eat When You Feel Sad and think, "Why am I not writing my novel?" so I opened my rich text file and began revising what I'd written so far. Edited one sentence. Got interrupted. Was gonna go back and edit/write more but I decided to blog.

Wanting to "publish" a playlist I made earlier this month but I don't wanna do the work to organize it into a "real playlist" so I may just upload it as a grab bag of tracks I like. Would like to feel like at least one person would download it and enjoy it before I go to any sort of work to upload it.

Birthday tomorrow. I expect ~6 birthday texts. Any more and I'll be upset or disappointed. Any less and I'll be relieved or disappointed. Don't feel like I have anything to celebrate this year. Maybe next year will be better. As it stands, 19-20 has been a year of transition, with no "real accomplishment" as I see it, more like trying to get comfortable+steady+on my feet with some reclusion that isn't really a good thing to be happening but it is anyway.

Wondering what my "barrier" is.

These are the winters of our discontinuance.

Wanna apologize for all the angsty material I've posted lately.
Wanna get back to my purpose: Flipping off the camera.
Wanna get some new disposable cameras someday and take memorable photos like this one and develop them at The Fred Meyers'.

Are disposable cameras the new polaroids? Are polaroids dead? Will they be missed?

I'm sorry I'm sometimes different.

I'm sorry I'm sometimes unconventional.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes silent.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes unhappy.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes excited.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes indecisive.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes irrational.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes curious.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes tangential.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes reclusive.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes lazy.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes indifferent.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes unresponsive.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes spiteful.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes perverted.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes stupid.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes ungrateful.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes talkative.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes boring.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes logical.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes condescending.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes narcissistic.
I'm sorry I'm sometimes different.

Our Blog's Prayer

Our blogger, which art in Google,
linked be thy URL;
thy unique visitors come;
thy feed be updated,
in our blog as it is in our twitter.
Give us this day our daily post.
And forgive us our downrating,
as we forgive them that downrate against us.
And lead us not into advertising;
but deliver us from paysites.
[For thine is the text,
the images, and the mp3s,
for ever and ever.]
Amen.

Pointless, unexplained, excitement.

Gettin' "the jitters" and bursts of uncontainable force/energy that make my stomach clench for no reason. Maybe it's the caffeine or the scraps of interaction I'm begging from the table. Maybe I'm unhealthy. I think I'm unhealthy. Not been eating "right" I don't think. Drinking 5+ cups of coffee every day. Sleeping 6 hours every 12 hours. Smoking too much.

May update this post later with more things.

May not.

Made a "art" this morning. Tried to scan for uploading but my scanner wasn't working. Wanna sell my "art" but I wanna keep my "art". I especially like the piece I did. I had an overexposed print that I printed a picture over. It's very "artistic".

No progression.

Not feeling a sense of "progression" from point A to point B. Don't even know what point A was or point B will be. "My life" is unbalanced. My sleep is fragmented and scattered across the 24-hours called a day. I get no response, no feedback, no input, not enough at least. Should I "put myself out there" and hope for some sort of positive response from others?

Am I just at a low point in a large mood swing? The past would say yes and I should just "ride it out" until I feel better.

Words are not working for me. Music is not working for me. Interaction is not happening.

Been wearing the same clothes for days. They're comfortable. They're all I have to "wear".

Finished the B-sides playlist to the Cold Skies/Grey Weather playlist. Listening to it now. Dunno if it's B-side-ish enough. Has plenty of alt lo-fi tracks but so did the "real playlist" maybe I should've gone more mainstream with the B-sides.

Wanna "live the mumblecore way."

Miss my old second-story window overlooking the hillside. Sitting on the sill at night smoking in my yellow-tinted room. Feel like I could've been in a Wes Anderson hit independent film with a cameo by Bill Murray.

Wanna make my life into mumblecore movie directed Aaron Katz. Wanna have a "deep dark secret" I reveal to an attractive girl at a party. and we watch fireworks afterwards.

Wish childhood lasted forever.

Wanna be known

Wanna

have a strong fan base that I communicate with daily through blog/tweet/email.
inspire people to create art/literate based on my New York Times bestselling indie film book on tape.
collaborate with the "greats" on a revolutionary art piece that gets 1,000s of unique hits.
be a part of what comes "next" during post-internet social interaction.
drink coffee at a hip coffeehouse & work on my Sundance screenplay.
have my face on a Gorilla Vs. Bear polaroid.

What are these but the dreams of someone who is still soulsearching.

Want 2 Be In A Real Band.

Not a "hypothetical band" or a "1-man band" or a "solo project" but a band that practices in garages/has a shitty drummer/records demos and sends them to major labels or Pete Wentz. If I was in a real band we would be called Wolf T-Shirt or Cassettettette, depending on our style. Wolf T-Shirt would be spazwave/post-thrash a la Sleigh Bells meets Pre-Madonnas. We would have a bassist who plays like DFA1979, a drummer, a synth/drum machine/programmer and a singer who sings through a megaphone & blows a whistle. Cassettettette would be pure chillwave/drone/sleepytime music with both male and female vocalists who play synths and drum machines/weird objects. Lots of looping. We play house shows in Pacificnorthwest cities & SXSW.

Feeling like I got ripped off in my teenaged years b/c none of my friends wanted to be in shitty bands.

Discouraged about music.

I spent ~8 hours solid working on a track that I had very high hopes for but now I'm just tired of it.
It's nothing like I want it to sound like. It lacks malleable quality of something made with analog/handmade/real instrumentations because it is made entirely digitally.
All my music heroes have handmade/unpolished sounds that I want to achieve. Should I just "go for it" with physical objects to make sounds? Percussions made from hitting wood together and turning 70's TV dials? Digital synths recorded onto my cell phone and then played back?

Did the "greats" teach themselves or did they learn from "past greats"? If they taught themselves how long did it take? Were they done by Thursday afternoon?

How can I "learn" and get "feedback" when nobody gives a shit about musicians that aren't good?

How long will these five cigarettes last me? At this rate not long enough.

How does a "1 man band" play by himself? Does his drum machine only have two different loops, one for chorus and one for verse? Or does he program it perfectly and just play along?

How do you get "rhythm"?

Sometimes I wanna be "normal"

Give up my alternative-lifestyle habits/sensibilities and "settle down" to a steady, unfulfilling job, or maybe a corporate career, with wife-and-kid and a car I know how to fix. One that takes regular unleaded. Try to have weekly "family game night" but give up when I realize my child is as ambitious and individualistic as I was when I was their age. Go to church and watch "the game" on Sunday afternoons. Visit the in-laws twice a month. Go cut down a Christmas tree & decorate it with family heirloom decorations passed down to us. 1 Christmas present each to open on Christmas Eve. I got a new tie. She got lingerie for tonight. The kid got their favorite author's newest New York Times Bestseller.

The missus and I are a bit tipsy from rum & eggnogs.

Illigetimet Child Of Singer/Songwriter Vince Vaugn, Not The Vince Vaugn Who Is An Actor, Jr.

Click to enlarge.

Amateur nonsensical storytelling.

I'm going to warn you that this story is very PG-13 or if you're from the UK, "15". I think that's accurate.

This is just a preview.

Click it to make it bigger+readable.

Do you think that the tags are accurate? Would you suggest other tags?

Ideas about names.

How relevant/affecting is a band/artist/website/restaurant/other's name to you? Do things with hard-to-Google names irritate you? On a scale of 1-10 how mad were you when trying to fileshare Girl's album "Album"?

Do you prefer

cutting-edge/hip IE Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Twitter, The Factory
straight-to-point/concise IE Wired, MySpace, My Chemical Romance
descriptive IE The Band, last.fm, iTunes, Gmail, The Cheesecake Factory
ambiguous IE Dntel
long-winded IE heheheheheheheeheheheehehe.com, Tim and Sam's Tim and the Sam Band with Tim and Sam

names/titles/URLS?

Does a name mean the difference between clicking a link and skimming over it? Do you instantly trust some things because of their name?

How much do you distrust this blog because if its name?

Trust|--------------------------------[]--------|Distrust

Are megaconglomerates taking advantage of _____?

I don't doubt they are. This YouTube user is an example: http://www.youtube.com/user/PJsmoker

a) Are tobacco companies/drug lords/lobbyists/et cetera beginning to promote themselves with "real people" having a great/cool time consuming their products?
b) Should I feel guilty for wanting a cigarette after browsing that userpage?
c) Should I quit-smoking-forever/a brief period of time and risk/knowingly go through being uncomfortable for days/weeks/months?
d) Is anyone a "casual smoker"?

How much do you smoke?

Nonrelated question: What is the most effective/least irritating way to tag blog posts? (Answers from experienced blogger only please.)

Didn't cook; made toast.

What is

imagination
innovation
new
independent
creative
original

?

Are my opinions on these subjects fed to me through others? Who decides if something is good? Who decides what is seen/paid attention to/documented? Is the media that we consume controlled by others? It seems like "we" only have a choice between a, b, c, d, et cetera. When we want to find out about new music where do we go? Our favorite music blog? MySpace? Do we profilesurf until we find something we like? Does Pitchfork control what we listen to? Are the upstarts from Wavves successful? Would every artist who got instant success like that follow the same path? Did you hear about "some band" from "some media trough" but only like them because they really speak to you and not because you were told they were good?

Is everything recycled/pasted together/collaged from old ideas/concepts/patterns/innovations? Does the band Wavves appeal because they're not traditionally what you would choose to listen to? Do you hate Wavves because they're awful?

I use Wavves as an example because they're incredibly fascinating to me. Their switch from obscurity to "mainstream" counterculture due to one website promoting them is incredible, especially since they are uncharacteristic of the culture that embraced them.

Do I need to stop thinking about media/communication/trends/marketing so much?

How will the "next big thing" present or force itself upon our consumer lives/atmospheres?

Will there be a new "indie band" that plays psychedelic rock with alt sensibilities? Will we hear about them through Twitter when Twitter incorporates musician pages with 140-second limit content?

Does your dream group consist X-musician playing Y-era music with Z-vocals and a post-prefixed genre?

About to cook something.

Making music is one of the most frustrating/confounding + least rewarding/attainable things I've ever tried to do. Am I not spending enough time "immersing" myself in this world/idea/acting of composing music, beats, tunes, melodies, things like that? Should I be drowning myself in it? Thinking maybe the "sink or swim" saying might apply to this and I'm just wading.

How do you find the tools to make the music you envision? Is limiting yourself to strictly "digital" or strictly "analog"/traditional instruments limiting yourself in creativity? Atm I only have digital means to produce music, but then again, am I not trying hard enough/searching for/exploring options? Do I need to get on my hands and knees and pound rhythms on the floor like "the cavemen" did before I can as they say evolve into a legitimate producer of noise?

How much unpublished/recorded music have visionaries/geniuses/pioneers composed that was no good? Did it take years or were they naturally "good"/pioneers? Even instant successes that aren't "good" like Wavves or any of the one hit wonders must've spent energy on something. Are does success sometimes come from nothing, if you're in "the right place at the right time?"

Where should I put my energies? What is most likely to become a marketable/successful endeavor that will bring me the attention I crave? Should I decide and then pour all my time/energy/effort/money/strategy/networking into a single bucket and hope for "The Best"?

How can I improve my individuality? Why does the word "individuality" have the word "duality" in it?

Just slept from 8-4.

Not sure what to make of this sleep schedule. Not sure if this feeling I have is from the sleep or the dreams. Fell asleep watching Seven Pounds featuring actor Will Smith and that caused me to have weird dreams that I don't remember content of but feel the aftereffects.

Can see my breath in my room, that's how cold it is. Are there any negative health affects to being cold? Is depression/lethargy/guilt caused by long periods of low temperature? These three heavy blankets keep most of me warm but sometimes parts of me (arms, head, feet) are exposed/I wake up with one or more blankets having fallen off the bed.

Typing entirely with my left hand for temperature reasons. Are there weird/abnormal things you do when you're alone that you don't tell anyone?

"Blog mission-statement."

The purpose of this blog is to be a personal portion of my upcoming website-debut, one that will be forthcoming on 2010. The purpose of this "mission-statement" is to set clear outlines for myself as to what this blog is and isn't. Revisions/updates/changes may occur.

Here, on this blog, I will:
a) Talk about subjects that are important to me.
b) Interact with readers, if any decide they wish to comment/interact/converse/give me deeper insight/opinions of others.
c) Explore alternative and new ways of communication and expression.
d) Be honest.
e) Be relatable, interesting, "unique", talented, and more.
f) Wanna not be a Carles wannabe.

Blogs of Christmases passed.

Blogs of my past can be found at isawastarfallfromthesky and newyorkpony. They may be updated occasionally or I may convert them to new blogs or transfer key items to this one.